blues
Friday, July 23, 2010
Everything, every single thing just happens on the friday.
Its always the Friday Blues for me.
I don't know what i am thinking.
My mind is running through a series of bad events and sad moments, and its never gonna stop.
It keeps on playing and playing through my mind and i cannot find a 'stop' button to it.
After thinking, it somehow just replay all over again.
I don't know why i am so sensitive, with the slightest thing on Earth.
Sometimes some people said something that they might not feel it but actually it hurts.
I don't tell anyone because people might be thinking- come on, you're lame ._. they're just joking. Sometimes i tell that it hurts but they don't listen, then there's no point at all..
I cannot think properly now.
He said those words and laughed it off but i mind it so much.
and then i start asking myself if i am really as what he had mentioned.
then another problem.
I just feel that, that he (another he) don't care anymore.
we won't as close as before, playing and sharing stuff together as we sat beside each other.
now he has his friends around him, he talk to them and only care about his someone.
Hey, what about me? I am your friend, once so close..
he even do some actions and said some things that hurt me a lot.
Then again, why am i so sensitive? ... Am I?
I don't know what's wrong with me, or maybe they don't give a dam?
"shen jing bing, act cute, weird lor, hao lian, show off, everyday emo one lor.. , i don't want to pair up with Ningzhen"
"roll his eyes, don't care, wanted to high five with him, he said 'dun care' , ignore me"
Everything just hurt so much.
I am being sensitive again. She asked '' why you cry?''
i don't know but it sounded like i shouldn't be crying because i didn't face the troubles that she (another she) is facing.
i am sad, so i just cry. thats all. what is wrong?
I bottled it up all in my heart, 'cuz i am scared that people will say i am stupid , sensitive to think about such stuff.
No point.
Seriously, i have many problems too, i want to share with somebody.
but seeing that Valarie is very emotional already, i decided to lend a listening ear instead than telling her all my troubles to add up on hers.
i feel that she doesnt tell me some things.. usually about relationship i guess.
i feel sad, yes, just sad and use to describe my feelings.
i know that i might not understand how you feel when it comes to relationship problems cuz i don't exactly understand. but you have to know i try, try ways to comfort you when it comes to relationship matters. you are keeping something from me :/ why? am i not trustworthy?
ok there's somethinsg big that happen today but i don't want to talk about it.
and today miss yin cried D: i feel so sad. we must all step out of our box.
she tried so hard and gave us all so we must buck up and sing well!
she said on monday we're going to all wear pink. we must continue our chorale spirit and don't die down!
jiayous everyone. after miss yin talk to us which i thought was really meaningful every time she said those words to us, we proceeded on to our section chat and reflection
exchanged numbers and we will be having a section dinner after choir next friday.
i really hope i will get bonded and closer to auto1 and keep in contact with my friends and seniors from sop1.
so, everything goes sad, sadder and even sadder.. ( no such word )
i guess all i need to do is to sleep and stop thinking.
Labels: why am i so sensitive?
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